I cant hear the song of the birds...

Its been a long time and I dont know when
the last I heard a song from a bird
Oh I dont mean the one with a pitch and tune
but more like the note I would send..
to say hello, how do you do?
Its been so long, how is life treating you?
Sometimes, this silence brings peace to me
and sometimes I think, they have forgotten me.
Off late, life has been good,
I am doing the things, for long I had meant to
but my smile is smaller and heart quieter
the song of the birds is somehow now gone
I think I have grown up, or have I really
When I am very happy, I think I shouldnt be
I want pain, the pain to remind me
of events and things that I let them be.
In the rain that is just so beautiful,
I start complaining about the pain...
The nostalgia blocks my senses and I
just walk around the beautiful rain.
I walked through before. Am I afraid now?
I could do this and that. Cant I now?
The questions that challenged me before
dont challenge me as much now...
If I could, I would just live on and on
like this, every dusk and dawn.