fight?

I foresee a battle
to fight whom I know not
Its how it is before a storm
seems calm, it is not...

Something tells me prepare
for there will be no time
to think about present and past
you wont be able to pause not pine

Gather your bearings for its a fight
only think of what you need
let alone the games and play
let alone the comics you read...

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that destruction by ice
Is also great
And would Suffice.
- Robert Frost

I hear music in everything today....

Maybe it is music, maybe it is just me,
maybe to look at things, another way,
whatever it is, it is true..
I hear music in everything today.

Humming birds, humming tunes,
thats music we all think too..
the computer's cooling fan,
the condenser stuttering,
it is funny it seems like
everything is singing
Crisp leaves under my foot,
the rock song on the speaker
the rhythm of dry trees
when the breeze nudges them,
the drizzling water,
the splashing puddles
even the sound of the locking cars...

Maybe it has something to do
with my latest ear phones
maybe they were jinxed
to make the wearer music, hear..

Is something wrong with my ears
or twisted is my mind..
it all seems like a design,
like everything follows a composition..

I guess it is music after all...
Oh well, I hear music in fall :)

Flowers, Colors and the rain...

In the balcony I have

plants in several ceramic pots,

plants that stay green

and those that flower lots...

Religiously I would everyday

check on their well being,

direct the ivy to go up railings

take out dry leaves and weeds...

I would water them and clean up the area

and talk to them happy thoughts

I wonder if they listened...

I have petunias that are

white, lavender, pink and purple

Little red flowers that grow in bunches

and tiny little yellow roses...

I also have onions and jalapenos

and sprouts of pulses planted..

you know, parsley and corriander

and a little ginger too...

But they wouldnt bloom...they wouldnt grow

They would look fine but there was no color

and the ivy wouldn't climb up the string

the petunias would be green but not one flower....

And then it rained.

And then came the rain, oh just too heavy
The days were dull, and evenings so dark..
Windy and cold, all the while cloudy
it wouldn't stop and would pour and pour....
it would ruin your clothes if you stepped out
and made the days and the mood so sour...

And then I looked out, at 10 one morning,
it was still twilight, that suddenly grew bright....

There was now color,

color in the balcony

there are petunias of all colors

the ivy is long and up the railing

the yellow roses so many

have covered the little rose pot

and the red bunches of stars

look like they are smiling...

Also the onions have broken
and new green leaves have sprouted
the spices look good
and there is a jalapeño plant bush...

The rain doesn't seem so bad now
when I sit amidst the colors
and think about how there is a rainbow
after all of the heart's worries

Ithaca - Constantine Peter Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka,

Hope your journey is long,

Full of adventure, full of awakening.

Do not fear the monsters of the old

You will not meet them in your travels

If your thoughts are exalted and remain high'

If authentic passions stirs your mind, body and spirit.

You will not encounter fearful monsters ,

If you don't carry them within your soul,

If your soul doesn't set them up in front of you..

Hope your road is a long one.

May there be many summer mornings when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind-

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you're destined for.

But don't hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you're old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you've gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

-Constantine Peter Cavafy

Happily Ever After

Did you hear it isn't the end

if it is not 'Happily ever after' !

In the stories we have read,

and the ones we are in,

they say there is a

'Happily ever after'.

Hope, it creates,

inspiration, to dream...

that there exists a unique

'Happily ever after'.

for everyone, everywhere...

it seems to the point

to find and reach their own

'Happily ever after' !

It is quite interesting that

I am a part of somebody else's

and they are a part of my

'Happily ever after' !

fast was it?

Did time pass by like it does all the time?

I think it did a double speed this year...

Only yesterday was I happy about fall

and here it is again in its splendor all

cool breeze in warm sunshine

days to read books outside

such a relief after the summer hot

how about a walk tonight?

Did time pass by like it does all the time?

I think it did a double speed this year...

Were we not worried just the other day

if things would go the way we plan

and here we are after everything has passed

as best as it could and would and it did

such peace I feel after its done

how about we dont talk about it?

Did time pass by like it does all the time?

I think it did a double speed this year...

There are already new worries

and new plans and it seems

it was just now that we were relieved...

There are new goals and places

we need to work on to get to and see

how about we work on those cases

Maybe it will be slow this time..

there is so much to do, so little time...

Daffodils - William Wordsworth

Daffodils - William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Every month, there will be one of these... Just like that:)

Tired

I am tired and done

its long, a long long way

I need to get there

there is no other way.

I had seen light,

it came this way

but this is so hard

Every minute every day

I was there

on the other end,

where this journey

had truly begun...

It was dark,

it was scary

like the end

of this world. Really.

I was tired,

I despaired

Not a soul

of hope, not a ray...

I said no word,

not a tear was left

all I really did

was breathe and

It was stuffy

and stinky and sad

and not a ray

of sunshine...

It was that way

for a very long time

and I dint know where

I was, here or there...

That was where

it all began..

and though no more,

I cannot forget

This was the only way

that made any sense

the one that smelled

of long fallen blossoms...

It is better,

I see sunshine

It is right there,

the tree with the flowers

But its tough..

Its hard, its pain..

this was so long

a long rocky lane...

I am tired and done

its long, a long long way

I need to get there

there is no other way.

I am STRONG!!!!

I am strong and I know, I can beat this
The war's not outside, but within me.
Many have been days of fear and uncertainty
And many I know will pass
Before I reach the destiny I seek.

Long have been the nights,
I have worried myself to sleep
the things I have known I do wrong
I changed not, though I did weep

Long have been the days in dark
I have seeked neither light nor lead
I have let me be led by my fears
Even though I knew it all along

I had dreams and I see them now
and so many days I awoke
to the nightmares that I cooked up
while my dreams awaited my attention.

I have the strength to bend my will
I have the strength to seek help
I will find my path and my way
and reach the destiny I seek.

would you still read what I wrote?

If I were here, talking of joy
had not a shade of pain to share
Would you still think of me?
And of what I wrote, what I thought?

If every time I wrote, I won
and wrote not of any fall...
I would write but erase all pain
and all you read was joy,

If I would not write
of experience, dull and bright
but sound every day, right...
my days however, in spite...

Would you still read my words?

Glorified is pain... in art and words, in real and unreal...

Is that what we are here for? To suffer in vain?

Isn't the smile, sometimes hard to find, the meaning of course?

Isn't joy, the point of life? The whole purpose?

I aM hApPy FoR mE...

I don't hear voices, my heart is calm...
Tried to write, but cannot start...
I have dreams, am sure something there..
I am wishing for, but I do not want...

Is tomorrow here? Is today gone?
Is this just now? or some bygone?

Am I cold... or did I forget
what life was, before the present...
Am I confused... or is this peace
Am I not used to life this decent?

I am looking forward to...
something I can't envision...
I am just plain excited...
about every day, every season..

I have dreams...happy they must be...
as I wake up every morning...being happy for me...
Something has changed...not just the ring
I am very happy... happy for me.

beautiful winter

White snow
Dark night
Grey clouds
no light bright

snow flakes
each unique
frozen water
in the creek

Ice skating
movies more
golf too
only indoor

An armchair
open book
Warm blanket
Coffee too..

Cotton drifting
Outside glass
Postcard picture
soon all will pass...

Happy New Year 2009

Varied experiences,
Life is, like I let be
Future, I choose.