what???

For a while now,I am trying to say
What, I know not..
I try anyway..

I started to write
many a morning bright
on some snowy evenings
on gloomy a night..

I start it happy
i start it sad
i start it dancing
like the stars tonight

but then i come forth
with a line or two
that make no sense
read however I do

Well.. the sky is a painting
with lots of stars and light
I started to say something
I know that for right
but here I am at the end
and there is nothing said
and I know not
what, I was trying to say.

I cant hear the song of the birds...

Its been a long time and I dont know when
the last I heard a song from a bird
Oh I dont mean the one with a pitch and tune
but more like the note I would send..
to say hello, how do you do?
Its been so long, how is life treating you?
Sometimes, this silence brings peace to me
and sometimes I think, they have forgotten me.
Off late, life has been good,
I am doing the things, for long I had meant to
but my smile is smaller and heart quieter
the song of the birds is somehow now gone
I think I have grown up, or have I really
When I am very happy, I think I shouldnt be
I want pain, the pain to remind me
of events and things that I let them be.
In the rain that is just so beautiful,
I start complaining about the pain...
The nostalgia blocks my senses and I
just walk around the beautiful rain.
I walked through before. Am I afraid now?
I could do this and that. Cant I now?
The questions that challenged me before
dont challenge me as much now...
If I could, I would just live on and on
like this, every dusk and dawn.

Sometimes I think

Sometimes I think
I am just a little girl
living in the make believe
world of her own...

Sometimes I think
these emotions so strong
that drive me into
a moment of action, may not...

Sometimes I think
I know it all...
this life, this earth,
the meaning and all...

sometimes I dream
and I think I am unique
different in thinking
different in being me...

Sometimes I wish
things wouldnt be so
and if they wouldnt be like this
what I would want them to be ...

Sometimes I know
I am just living so
in a fantasy land where
everything is fake ...

But why do I care
I am happy today
Like the wise people say...
Tomorrow is another day.

In a long day, a short pause.

I do not know if there is heaven or hell
I do not know if there is good and bad

I do not know a lot of these things that guide all of us
to do the things we do and be happy and sad...

I know that there is a complete feeling in a child's laughter
An energy so refreshing thats just mesmerizing
Like the entire universe that was flowing along
Just stopped surprised, coming to stand still.

I know that there is a sense of peace to hear gurgling streams of water.
I know there is a something romantic about the gentle breeze in the hot sun..

I know that kites are always like our spirit, lighter than the air
Where you lead them, there they go, in joy, they sway..
I know that the colors in the flowers, are like the flavors of life...
That everyday, new and beautiful is here to stay.

Sometimes, in a day so rough you wish you could just give it all up,
a little push of confidence comes from a least expected place...

I do not know what inspired this poem I know that it is related
I do not know how to relate this but I know, I just feel so good...

A long day - a long fight, with things to do and the guilt of those not done
A short pause to think of some of the things, that make my day bright ....

Summer's here

What is it with the weather?
I thought I would hate it..
After the walk that evening
On the first summer day,
I was sure I would hate it,
The summer, this May...

But I loved it,
I loved the heat.

I loved the long walks
Along green pathways.
The colors of the flowers
That people put out to display,
The sound of the cricket
thats finally trying to say...

The winter has been long
Too long to my liking...
too dull in the end
to the point of breaking

But now its summer
and it will be winter again
but am determined to let
the sun in, and smile today.

JLT

I wAnT tO lEaVe!!!

Sooner or later, I will catch up with you...
you can ignore me now, but I will come back to you

I was here all this while,
when you laughed at me,
you mocked me and you left me,
and forward you thought you had gone
but here I am and I will be
till you know me, see me...
till you walk through me
and send me to my end...

Every time you frown, I walk another step
Every time you smile, you will know I am right here..

Talk to me, I am alone
talk to me coz you need me
talk to me for your own good
talk to me to leave me...

I am right here, I will never leave...
If you dont cry, and let me go....
I want to leave, selfish I may be
but staying in you, is torturing me.

I will nag you till I am gone,
and haunt you with my words...
I will hurt you for no reason,
and laugh at your pain...

Talk to me today, talk to me now,
let us get it over with, talk me down.
I dont want to come back to you,
you dont like me and I know you...
Let me go.. and let me go NOW...
Just do it, talk to me and talk me down.

I know you dont know, the path to get to me
but find it soon, I know you definitely can
Just try and find me...
Dont you look away.. it is painful you see
to see you not talking to me
when I know you can
Try some more, do some thing..
just let me go, I want to leave.



INSP: The voices in my head sound like this sometimes too..

I am and I was...

Am I what I used to be?
Am I someone else?
If its me who is just me,
how can I be anyone else?

Am I doing what I used to do?
Or am I doing different?
Was I then, not what I am?
or am I not what I was then?

If in thoughts, and space and time,
I feel I am myself all the way,
am I changing so slowly so,
that I know not what is happening..
Or is it just me and I find no change
In all this time thats passing...


In all as much and more,
I cant help but wonder
Is there supposed to be a
What I MEANT to be?


!!! ------I called a friend after a long long time and she said I dont sound like I used to and that I havent written anything for a very long time... So I started to think if I am not being myself and here is what happened... :) ------ !!!

What is it with today?

Have I always liked silence...

Or is it just today…

There is so much activity...

But everything seems quiet today..

Is it the cloudy weather...

But that’s before the rain...

And water falling makes me happy...

So what else is with today?

Is it because its Friday...

The day before the weekend...

But there have been so many Fridays...

So what is it with today?

Is it because someone is leaving...

But I have said good byes before.

They are all following their heart…

So what is different today…

Pending to-dos , long lists of have tos...

The want tos also some dont dos...

Then why is this so different...

Is it just today??

Have I given up on the things...

I have been wanting to do..

That keep playing in my head...

Telling me what to do….

The voices in my head...

Are singing a silent melody...

And I cant hear a word...

That anyone is really saying..

I love this silence..

It is so peaceful...

It makes me smile...

Its just so wonderful…

So what is really with today?